From the Beginning

Hello there,

I've never written a blog before. I mean, I'm a lover of reading and writing but usually in a small journal to unleash my inner thoughts and emotions. For all of the 18 years I have lived on this Earth, people have come to me with their problems thinking I have the magical ability to heal them. Truthfully, I don't. I know I don't. Half of the time I give my opinion and (based on their past and my mental/physical experiences) give them a tactic to do in the most practical way. The other half of the time I don't even know what to say and come up with a solution on the spot (it took a lot of practice to actually get good at it) you know, just to make the person feel better quicker. Apparently I'm also great at helping relationships, even though I have never had a boyfriend. I know, I think it's odd, too. Well let's get right to the reason why I began writing. In the beginning of 2012, my journal writings flourished. Why? Well on April 30, 2011, my dad got laid off. We had to depend on my mom for the monetary issues we were having. Then in June, the guy who I thought was the love of my life moved to another country (don't even laugh, 'cause I bet half of you do the same thing if your "significant interest" only moved to another town or state). I thought everything was going down an endless, spiral slide to nowhere. On July 29, one of my really great friends was killed in bike accident by a hit-and-run. Starting to get the picture yet? No? Let's continue then. On September 10, my grandfather died from Lyme Disease. The worst hasn't even shown up yet. On December 25 (yes, Christmas Day) my own mother passed away from Leiomyosarcoma, a cancerous tumor in the muscle of her lower back. You would think I would have given up on life at this point. I kind of did in a way. I started failing classes in school, I didn't care how I looked (that definitely got people to start making jokes about me behind my back or even straight to my face) and stopped standing up for myself, and even my clinical depression and OCD grew worse in a matter of weeks. My friends weren't even able to make me feel better because I like to keep my emotions bottled up in front of other people. I felt there was no point in living anymore (but that's another story for a different time). But one day in February of 2012, my eyes were set on a little black journal at (you would have never guessed) Disney World. This night saved my life in a way I can't even explain. I started writing in it immediately and felt the power of jotting down my emotions take effect. I have over 100 entries of song lyrics, religious psalms and readings, and even some of my own writings. Writing my ideas and thoughts in a small book has helped my soul heal more than church has. And strangely enough, I'm okay with every part of it.  I recently decided to write an online blog. I wish to help others, the way I have helped my friends and bystanders, with their problems. Or even just giving my input to a decision is always helpful in some way. I want to be able to help those who can't help themselves, but in a way that people my age can understand. And since my generation already spends about 60% of their life on the computer (the other 40%: 10% eating, 10% sleeping, 10% socializing, and 10% just trying to survive daily life), I figured the internet was a perfect way to continue my work. Everyone has a story worth writing about. You just have to pick up the pen of your experiences and write them down in your journal of life.

Love the life you have,
Allison