The Young and The Ready

Tonight's post is brought to us by a fellow reader who shall remain anonymous. She asked about my opinion on sexually active teenagers. Her story is that she had lost her virginity at fourteen to a guy she didn't know at the time and feels like it still affects her life today. To be completely honest, I feel that is a very young age to be performing in such acts (I always agreed that seventeen is a mature enough age). But, then again, everyone is different when they mature. Yeah, we all hear the same crap in health class: Your body is changing, your hormones are raging, blah, blah, blah... So I totally understand where you are coming from (I had an awkward adolescence stage, as well). 

But let's get back to that guy you mentioned before. It seems to me that you're letting this one mistake control your life at the moment. It's perfectly normal to be feeling like this. You might feel judged by other guys who you come in contact with and, unfortunately, that might be normal, too for a while. Every guy wants to be a girl's first time, to feel accomplished. As you get older, those feelings will slowly diminish. You'll find people just like you who lost their virginity very young (sometimes even younger than you!). I've noticed that our generation is the most sexually active starting from the pre-teen years into the mid-teens. For us that's normal (sorry if I keep using that word, but it's true) and we're sometimes proud of it or mortified with ourselves. But like I said before, we mature differently. When I was fifteen, a guy wanted to have sex with me. I gladly refused that offer because I knew I wasn't ready at the time. You shouldn't be upset that you were ready at that moment. You were curious and that's okay. However, he might have taken advantage of you (most guys will do that. Trust me, I have had experience with a broken heart from heartfelt promises of never being hurt. God, I feel stupid for trusting him). 

I will share some advice to you and other girls (and guys, too! Girls can be sluts) about how to deal with this issue. The best way to move on is to completely rid yourself from this person. Delete them from any social networks, phone contacts, pictures... anything to make sure you won't be reminded of the bad memories. If they have caused more harm than happiness, then they aren't worth staying in your life. Period. Also, talk to someone about this. It can be your best friend, mother, trusted aunt, uncle, grandparent, school counselor, or anyone you can trust with this information. Releasing your emotions can, and will, relieve stress and they will help you through it emotionally and mentally. And one more thing. I know you might feel like trusting another guy or girl is out of the question. But not everyone is out to hurt you. Test the playing field a little bit. Hang out with people who you have known for some time and get to know them more. Who knows, it could turn into a steady, long-lasting relationship before you know it! So stay strong with yourself and your body. Forget the terrible past and look forward for a better future.

Keep a virgin mind,

Allison