The Unimportant One

I remember when I couldn't wait to be 18. I could finally buy a lottery ticket, get a new laptop (possibly a car), get a tattoo that I've waited over a year after I finally decided what I wanted (on my left shoulder blade: "Credere in Vires" which means "Believe in Strength" in Latin"). This right here is how I described my older brother. On his 18th birthday, my parents bought him a new HD tv, a brand new Toshiba laptop, he basically took my dad's 2006 Mazda for himself so he can get a job and go to school, and got a tattoo 2 weeks afterwards. On July 6, it will have been two months since I turned 18. I have the family laptop from 2010-11 that I share with my dad, a don't care about the tv because I already have one from 1999, I share the 2002 Honda Pilot with my dad (yes, I even pay gas when I go places), and I still haven't gotten my tattoo. And yet, everything is still my fault because I'm the youngest. They (meaning family) always compare me to my brother. Why haven't you found a job yet?! I need a car in order to get to that said job. And the second I say, "I found an amazing job that makes a lot of money and I can work part-time!", they reply, HAHAHAHA how are you going to get there?! WITH WHAT CAR?! And yet they don't care what he does because they know he has a future, not me. See, this is why you need to shut-up and realize this is why I'm not moving back to hear you all mock at my failures. By the way, this isn't me being a spoiled brat (like the rest of the world sees me as). It's a little thing called fairness and equality, something OBVIOUSLY New Yorkers don't obtain in their thick skulls and minuscule brains (if they have any). 

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that my dad has been trying all summer to make us move back to Connecticut or New York. He wants to be with his side of the family again. But what about me? I already have a college set-in-stone for me to attend in the Fall down here in Florida so then I can become a History teacher. His family calls me "selfish" for not putting my dad first. I call myself "trying to make my dreams become a reality". I don't understand why I'm being punished for something I didn't do but also for following my own dreams. I have to step down so my dad can flourish. I understand that we don't have enough money since mom died. I really do realize that. What I don't understand is why I don't have the focus anymore from anyone when I am actually in need of an education. So now I'm being forced to apply to colleges up north (which will cost about $105 per semester if I have to keep applying) to, once again, make my dad the happiest person. Why? Do you really think I can stand up to my family? The way they have put me down for the past 18 years of my life? I can't because my dad will only support their sayings, not mine. I'm a helpless follower in this land of bad leaders. I am ready to move on. But only one question remains... Will you guys actually allow me to step forward?

Let me be what I set out to be, 

Allison